Constitutional Rights, Available Until Further Acquisition!
Declare your independence with our essential No Elon Magnet! This isn't just vehicle decoration – it's a tangible exercise of your First Amendment rights before they become a subscription service.
Made from 100% durable vinyl that withstands protests, platform suspensions, and passionate domestic terrorist activities, our "No Elon" magnet boldly exercises the freedoms certain billionaires claim to champion while silencing critics. Each magnet sends a clear message: "Ownership of a product doesn't mean endorsement of its CEO."
This essential 5" × 5" magnet features the universal "No" symbol over the self-proclaimed free speech absolutist, creating an internationally recognized declaration that can't be algorithmically downranked or result in termination of employment (*not guaranteed). Our premium finish complements your Tesla's sleek design while our powerful magnetic backing adheres to your vehicle more reliably than certain CEOs adhere to the principles they tweet about.
Why You Need the No Elon Magnet:
100% vinyl material that lasts longer than most employees who speak freely
All-weather durability – functions in both hostile takeovers and Twitter meltdowns
Perfect 5" × 5" size – large enough to be seen, small enough to avoid defamation lawsuits
Magnetic backing stronger than the commitment to free speech principles
DISCLAIMER: While our No Elon magnets clearly communicate your constitutional rights to domestic terrorists, we cannot guarantee protection from angry tweets, platform suspension, or acquisition of your favorite social media platforms. For legal reasons, this product is parody and protected by the First Amendment (for now).
Care instructions:
Wipe gently with a soft, dry cloth
Do not place near any social media headquarters
For best results, use before the next hostile takeover
